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(267): Dude you were so wasted you...  

(267): Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.

2017-12-18 05:02:02
`
3 

(508): If one more person says...  

(508): If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I'm going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye.

2017-12-18 04:12:03
`
3 

(402): My boobs look fucktastic, I...  

(402): My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!

2017-12-18 04:02:02
`
3 

(207): if by making eggnog you...  

(207): if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog.

2017-12-17 10:02:03
`
2 

(215): so apparantly i made out...  

(215): so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner.

2017-12-17 09:02:02
`
1 

(701): So I'm trying to figure...  

(701): So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?

2017-12-17 08:32:02
`
1 

(603): Just escaped from the ER....  

(603): Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.

2017-12-17 08:22:01
`
2 

(757): Hmmm, well all I'm...  

(757): Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.

2017-12-17 08:12:03
`
1 

(208): And you seriously thought...  

(208): And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis? (1-208): It seemed like a good idea at the time...

2017-12-17 08:02:02
`
2 

(516): You could cut the tension...  

(516): You could cut the tension with my nipples.

2017-12-17 07:12:02
`
4 

(404): I don't care. We're...  

(404): I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.

2017-12-17 07:02:02
`
4 

(801): Brother gave me a harry...  

(801): Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.

2017-12-17 06:02:02
`
3 

(617): Its really awkward pooping...  

(617): Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.

2017-12-17 05:02:02
`
4 

(609): I need to align my fucking...  

(609): I need to align my fucking chakras.

2017-12-17 04:12:02
`
6 

(229): That's true love. If they...  

(229): That's true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.

2017-12-17 04:02:02
`
6 

Put Big Business In Its Place With These Crowd Funding Wins  

By CRACKED Store  Published: December 17th, 2017 

2017-12-17 00:00:00
`
8 

5 Totally WTF Myths That Pop Up In Every Culture Worldwide  

By Alex Hanton,Spencer Thew,Greg Tuff,Alex Perry  Published: December 17th, 2017 

2017-12-17 00:00:00
`
7 

18 unbelievably inexpensive pieces from H&M's winter sale that you need to treat yo'self to ASAP  

Up to 60% off items your closet is drooling over.

2017-12-16 14:00:01
`
11 

(515): We are gonna play a game I...  

(515): We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket.

2017-12-16 10:02:03
`
1 

(406): I went to the hospital to...  

(406): I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.

2017-12-16 09:12:02
`
2 

(641): i was making a gravity bong...  

(641): i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.

2017-12-16 09:02:02
`
5 

(417): Do you remember coming over...  

(417): Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?

2017-12-16 08:12:02
`
5 

(918): Good News: There was a...  

(918): Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper.

2017-12-16 08:02:01
`
2 

(573): My fart just smelled like...  

(573): My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.

2017-12-16 07:12:01
`
3 

(312): Did you wake up next to...  

(312): Did you wake up next to Karina? (1-312): So that's her name.

2017-12-16 07:02:01
`
2 

(301): You know that thing where...  

(301): You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass.

2017-12-16 06:32:02
`
6 

(860): But actually he solved...  

(860): But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking.

2017-12-16 06:22:02
`
4 

(334): I cannot, in good...  

(334): I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie.

2017-12-16 06:12:01
`
2 

(315): Why did my mother make you...  

(315): Why did my mother make you get naked?

2017-12-16 06:02:02
`
2 

(301): If we're going to...  

(301): If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.

2017-12-16 05:02:02
`
7 

This fan theory about 'The Holiday' makes me want to throw my laptop out the window  

You've gotta be kidding me.

2017-12-15 22:52:34
`
14 

Taylor Swift's friend just spilled the tea on one of her exes in a major way  

The plot thickens ...

2017-12-15 22:18:44
`
10 

23 ladies who made us LOL this week—December 15, 2017  

You're welcome.

2017-12-15 22:18:00
`
6 

People are sharing pics of their ugly Christmas sweaters and, wow, my eyes are bleeding  

Y'all aren't messing around.

2017-12-15 20:45:31
`
10 

This new body-hopping romance movie might change the way you see love  

The trailer just dropped.

2017-12-15 20:29:06
`
4 

People are calling out these shoe inserts that make men taller, and let's just all take a moment to appreciate the bitter irony  

How about trying on "You do you" for size?

2017-12-15 20:24:30
`
3 

This mom is sharing a PSA on car seats after an accident almost killed her little boy  

Buckle up your kids!

2017-12-15 19:51:19
`
6 

Jimmy Fallon just shared Twitter's funniest, cringe-iest, and most bizarre gifts  

I'm feeling much better about my shopping list already ...

2017-12-15 19:28:51
`
4 

15 gifts for your brother that will make you, like, the coolest sister ever  

Because you're the sibling who cares

2017-12-15 18:23:05
`
2 

13 Amazon deals that are too damn good to pass up  

Save on beauty products, home goods, and more!

2017-12-15 17:04:48
`
4 

This college student used Tinder to sell a lamp and she might be a damn genius  

Tinder is lit.

2017-12-15 16:47:29
`
8 

Actresses are wearing all black to the Golden Globes this year for a very powerful reason  

It's an all black affair.

2017-12-15 16:44:04
`
9 

12 surprising celebrity friendships you'll wish you could third wheel with  

"Real friends hang out in Paris together."

2017-12-15 16:27:16
`
3 

This college student received a message about her boyfriend cheating from a random woman but there's a twist  

Girl code is real, y'all.

2017-12-15 16:08:39
`
11 

18 phone backgrounds to use to get in the holiday mood  

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

2017-12-15 15:42:17
`
2 

19 mind-bending thoughts about humans you never realized before  

"Sex isn't family friendly, but it is the reason every family exists."

2017-12-15 15:00:04
`
6 

If you loved/hated 'A Christmas Prince,' then you'd better prepare yourself for this new Netflix movie  

It has that certain Hallmark movie vibe goin' on ...

2017-12-15 13:33:24
`
4 

(541): He chose me to be his...  

(541): He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang.

2017-12-15 09:02:02
`
3 

(+44): Do not confuse my plans for...  

(+44): Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.

2017-12-15 07:42:02
`
6 

(206): We decorated the tree,...  

(206): We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.

2017-12-15 07:32:02
`
6 

(785): Remind me to tell you about...  

(785): Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night. (1-785): I'll be glad to.

2017-12-15 07:22:01
`
3 

(303): Rebounding with her sister...  

(303): Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.

2017-12-15 07:12:01
`
4 

(479): Her cat was breathing in my...  

(479): Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.

2017-12-15 07:02:02
`
4 

(978): My roommate just yelled at...  

(978): My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.

2017-12-15 06:02:02
`
2 

(206): She moved all of her stuff...  

(206): She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn't flush. So yeah it went well.

2017-12-15 05:32:03
`
3 

(330): it's like the easy bake...  

(330): it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery.

2017-12-15 05:22:02
`
2 

(204): you kept shouting...  

(204): you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911.

2017-12-15 05:12:02
`
3 

(253): Wanna get drunk and play...  

(253): Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.

2017-12-15 05:02:02
`
3 

(402): Just paid for birth control...  

(402): Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?

2017-12-15 04:02:02
`
4 

5 Painfully Stupid Movie Reboot Ideas The World Nearly Got  

By JM McNab  Published: December 15th, 2017 

2017-12-15 00:00:00
`
5 

4 Common Things That Are Turning Us Into Horrible People  

By Ian Fortey  Published: December 15th, 2017 

2017-12-15 00:00:00
`
3 

16 Surefire Predictions For 2018  

By CRACKED Readers  Published: December 15th, 2017 

2017-12-15 00:00:00
`
1 

5 Reasons It's A Miracle 'Star Wars' Got Made At All  

By Steve Clark,Maxwell Yezpitelok,Dustin Koski,Jim Doughty  Published: December 15th, 2017 

2017-12-15 00:00:00
`
1 

Spruce Up Your Personal Space With These 6 Bedroom Sets  

By CRACKED Store  Published: December 15th, 2017 

2017-12-15 00:00:00
`
2 

This woman discovered she got eyelash mites after not washing her pillowcase, and I'm already itching  

*Throws sheets in a vat of boiling water*

2017-12-14 22:54:28
`
9 

If you're on a plane with new parents George and Amal Clooney, you might get some free swag  

The Clooneys are the classiest.

2017-12-14 22:23:03
`
12 

Two women dressed up as Disney princesses to encourage Disney to have a 'fat' princess  

We need this change.

2017-12-14 22:03:37
`
7 

A 'Game of Thrones' script has allegedly leaked, and there are legit spoilers ahead  

SERIOUSLY, NOT KIDDING.

2017-12-14 21:10:52
`
6 

These are the bold and beautiful hair and makeup trends you can expect to see in 2018, according to Pinterest  

Everything you need to get a leg up for the year ahead.

2017-12-14 21:00:24
`
1 

This man staged his own food baby pregnancy shoot after finding out he's a Dad-to-be  

You'll LOL for these.

2017-12-14 20:59:50
`
3 

These fake deleted scenes from 'Home Alone' will give you life  

"Where we find out how the McCallisters can afford such a nice house."

2017-12-14 20:02:42
`
3 

BlackMilk just revealed their Harry Potter activewear lookbook and I want it all  

*currently buying a gym membership*

2017-12-14 20:01:52
`
6 

Anna Kendrick says the 'Pitch Perfect' cast got pressure for the characters to dress “sexier”  

Oh, HELL no.

2017-12-14 19:21:27
`
7 

Here's everything that's coming to your ex's Netflix account in January  



2017-12-14 18:33:41
`
8 

Netflix released its end of the year report and the most binged show is unexpected  

Did you watch "American Vandal"?

2017-12-14 18:24:19
`
8 

16 'This Is Us' gifts for anyone who has shed a tear over this show before  

"Nothing bad ever happens on Christmas Eve."

2017-12-14 17:24:01
`
3 

13 Amazon deals that are too damn good to pass up  

Awesome deals on kitchen items, accessories, and more!

2017-12-14 16:50:27
`
10 

This woman has a theory that all of Santa's reindeers are females and the internet's mind has been blown  

Mind blown!

2017-12-14 16:33:26
`
7 

33 totally random memes that'll make you spit out your morning coffee — December 14, 2017  

Get some memes.

2017-12-14 14:29:20
`
6 

People are revealing what they would do if they had a personal assistant, and it's hilariously petty  

"Cool all seats hot from other people's butts before I alight."

2017-12-14 13:03:50
`
4 

(707): So my ex just asked for my...  

(707): So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome. (1-707): That's basically a green light to fuck his dad.

2017-12-14 09:42:02
`
0 

(603): The FEDEX guy just cock...  

(603): The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway.

2017-12-14 09:32:02
`
6 

(440): i'm eating chex mix in...  

(440): i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.

2017-12-14 09:22:02
`
7 

(845): Woman doing my Brazilian...  

(845): Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?

2017-12-14 09:12:02
`
8 

(907): I just found three upside...  

(907): I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights.

2017-12-14 09:02:02
`
5 

(928): They walked into the house...  

(928): They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...

2017-12-14 08:02:02
`
6 

(507): He was gone for 5 minutes,...  

(507): He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.

2017-12-14 07:12:02
`
2 

(704): Well I'm trying out this...  

(704): Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing" (1-704): That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.

2017-12-14 07:02:02
`
9 

(202): I have seen you puke and 5...  

(202): I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..

2017-12-14 06:12:02
`
4 

(323): Straight up last night my...  

(323): Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs.

2017-12-14 06:02:02
`
2 

(641): At one point she put on my...  

(641): At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.

2017-12-14 05:02:02
`
3 

(860): I just do things that...  

(860): I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.

2017-12-14 04:02:02
`
2 

The Screen Actors Guild Awards will feature only female presenters and Kristen Bell is hosting  

Is this real life right now?

2017-12-14 00:43:34
`
3 

5 Crazy Star Wars Deleted Scenes (You Never Knew Existed)  

By JM McNab  Published: December 14th, 2017 

2017-12-14 00:00:00
`
5 

I Was Tortured By The Chicago PD: This Is What I Saw  

By Robert Evans  Published: December 14th, 2017 

2017-12-14 00:00:00
`
3 

24 times Randi Lawson was the funniest person on Twitter  

"Any restaurant can be family style if the waiter criticizes your order."

2017-12-13 23:52:52
`
9 

Here are the 10 most-Googled questions about dating in 2017 and a lot of people are looking to try something new  

We've got the answers.

2017-12-13 23:35:19
`
11 

Dear David just popped up in some creepy photos and truth be told, it's really freaking scary  

If these pics don't send chills down your spine, nothing will.

2017-12-13 23:26:14
`
7 

Pinterest is predicting the top wellness trends of 2018, so hip fitness chicks take note  

Some of these actually sound kind of fun.

2017-12-13 22:56:48
`
3 

20 people shared what they believe is a total waste of money, and they'll make you think twice before opening your wallet  

It's a matter of principle.

2017-12-13 22:21:36
`
2 




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